These are just for Trevor.

A lady went to a Skoda dealership to buy a car, only to be told that, due to new EEC regulations, she had to provide an account of her medical history before she could purchase the car.
Slightly annoyed she complied, and returned the following day with the required information.
The salesman read the documents & said "Sorry ma'am, but you can't buy a Skoda"
"Why on earth not?" asked the perplexed woman.
"Well," said the salesman, "It says here that you've had a hysterectomy, and you have to be a complete c**t to buy a Skoda!"

A Rolls Royce pulls up next to a Skoda in a Motorway Service Area. As the drivers get out the Roller driver brags, "I have a Rolls, the best car in the world, and you have just a Skoda". "Ah, but", replies the Skoda owner, "my car has a few optional extras - I have had the seats converted so that they fold into a double bed at the flick of a switch, I have a Colour TV and Video, I have Sky TV and a telephone, and finally a fully functional cocktail cabinet built into the glove compartment". The Roller driver storms off, he cannot cope with being beaten by a SKODA! He goes straight to the Rolls Royce garage and orders all the above to be fitted immediately. 2 weeks later he is driving along and sees the same Skoda parked on the motorway hard shoulder and notices all the windows steamed up. He immediately dials up the Skoda on his in car phone. On answering he says "Hi, remember me? I've had all the extras fitted to my car, I now have a Rolls Royce with Colour TV, Satellite, Phone, Double bed, and of course the cocktail cabinet". "YOU GOT ME OUT OF THE BATH JUST TO TELL ME THIS!!!!!!!" replies the Skoda driver !

What happens if you apply rust remover to a Skoda ?
It dissappears!

How do you double the value of a Skoda ?
Fill it wil petrol !

A guy goes into his local garage and asks "Do you have a windscreen wiper for my Skoda???"
"Sounds like a fair swap" replied the man in the garage.

What do you call a skoda with automatic windows?
A toll booth.

What do you call a skoda in the winter?
A freezer.

Ive just bought the new 16 valve Skoda
.......4 in the engine, 12 in the radio!

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